About the writer

I know, I know.

It's mid-July, and it's really hot out there. You are thinking about swimming if anything, or devising ways to stay in the air conditioning as much as possible.

Me, too.

But much to my surprise (being the mother of a 21-month-old and a 3-year-old my mind isn't yet in the "school" mode)... Let me start again... Much to my surprise, while shopping with my family last week, we noticed displays at a number of area stores featuring back-to-school supplies. Already, right?

Each display was equipped with a school supply list, and, let me tell you, these lists are lengthy. Some of the items are very specific... and could get expensive fast! If you have multiple children, well, forget about it. Just some examples: If you have a fifth-grader attending North Canton's Northwood Elementary School, you will need gym shoes with (very specific here) non-marking soles. Two erasable pens (again, getting specific), the pens should be blue. Your child also needs a dry erase marker, but it should be low odor; and five-pocket folders with prongs (that last part is in bold on the supply list, btw).

At Perry Local's T.C. Knapp Elementary School, second graders are required to bring a black three-ring binder; one old, clean sock (yes, feel free to read that again); one flashlight with batteries. And that's not even half the list.

More odd items: A "sipper style" water bottle (required by St. Paul's in North Canton); a man's shaving bag or woman's cosmetic bag (said to be good containers for supplies at Jackson Local's Strausser Elementary School); and make sure the baby wipes you send with your kids to North Canton's Orchard Hill Elementary School are non-toxic. (I would hope so, but apparently there is a need to specify.)

I understand schools are under budget constraints, and parents must chip in more so than simply paying their taxes, but are school supply lists out of control?

They seem pretty daunting to me, but — hey, what do I know — my kids aren't in school yet.

By the time they get there, I'm sure we'll be expected to supply them with iPads. Who needs No. 2 pencils and wide-ruled loose leaf notebook paper anyway?

-

If you are feeling especially inspired, feel free to comment below. We also are seeking your responses to the following questions for a future story to run in The Repository's Your Life section.

What is the most unusual back-to-school item you have been required to purchase? How much do you plan on spending on back-to-school supplies? Share with us your insider secrets to purchasing school supplies on the cheap.

You can email those answers, along with your name and city or township of residence, and a telephone number (so that we may contact you), to yourlife@cantonrep.com.

I know, I know.

It’s mid-July, and it’s really hot out there. You are thinking about swimming if anything, or devising ways to stay in the air conditioning as much as possible.

Me, too.

But much to my surprise (being the mother of a 21-month-old and a 3-year-old my mind isn’t yet in the “school” mode)… Let me start again… Much to my surprise, while shopping with my family last week, we noticed displays at a number of area stores featuring back-to-school supplies. Already, right?

Each display was equipped with a school supply list, and, let me tell you, these lists are lengthy. Some of the items are very specific… and could get expensive fast! If you have multiple children, well, forget about it. Just some examples: If you have a fifth-grader attending North Canton’s Northwood Elementary School, you will need gym shoes with (very specific here) non-marking soles. Two erasable pens (again, getting specific), the pens should be blue. Your child also needs a dry erase marker, but it should be low odor; and five-pocket folders with prongs (that last part is in bold on the supply list, btw).

At Perry Local’s T.C. Knapp Elementary School, second graders are required to bring a black three-ring binder; one old, clean sock (yes, feel free to read that again); one flashlight with batteries. And that’s not even half the list.

More odd items: A “sipper style” water bottle (required by St. Paul’s in North Canton); a man’s shaving bag or woman’s cosmetic bag (said to be good containers for supplies at Jackson Local’s Strausser Elementary School); and make sure the baby wipes you send with your kids to North Canton’s Orchard Hill Elementary School are non-toxic. (I would hope so, but apparently there is a need to specify.)

I understand schools are under budget constraints, and parents must chip in more so than simply paying their taxes, but are school supply lists out of control?

They seem pretty daunting to me, but — hey, what do I know — my kids aren’t in school yet.

By the time they get there, I’m sure we’ll be expected to supply them with iPads. Who needs No. 2 pencils and wide-ruled loose leaf notebook paper anyway?

—

If you are feeling especially inspired, feel free to comment below. We also are seeking your responses to the following questions for a future story to run in The Repository’s Your Life section.

What is the most unusual back-to-school item you have been required to purchase? How much do you plan on spending on back-to-school supplies? Share with us your insider secrets to purchasing school supplies on the cheap.

You can email those answers, along with your name and city or township of residence, and a telephone number (so that we may contact you), to yourlife@cantonrep.com.

The morning had gone too smoothly.

Up before alarm clock buzzed. Check.

Shower. Check.

Dressed, lunches packed, cup of coffee down — all before kids awake. Check.

Kids up, dressed, fed and out the door. Check.

Too smoothly. Like I said.

And this was all before 8 a.m.

Then, my "super mom" status was taken down by more than a notch.

We arrived at day care. I sat my keys down to put on Adalyn Rae's shoes. (My toddler girl thinks it's HILARIOUS to take them off in the car.) I got her out.

I closed the car door. Yep, closed it.

Keys still in car.

Fortunately, my kids weren't.

From the day care I called the local police department, who graciously sent an officer out to get me back into my car and on to work.

A humbling start to any day, let me tell you.

So, why don't you tell me? Don't leave me hanging.

Have you ever locked your keys in your car? How did you handle it? Spill!

The morning had gone too smoothly.

Up before alarm clock buzzed. Check.

Shower. Check.

Dressed, lunches packed, cup of coffee down — all before kids awake. Check.

Kids up, dressed, fed and out the door. Check.

Too smoothly. Like I said.

And this was all before 8 a.m.

Then, my “super mom” status was taken down by more than a notch.

We arrived at day care. I sat my keys down to put on Adalyn Rae’s shoes. (My toddler girl thinks it’s HILARIOUS to take them off in the car.) I got her out.

I closed the car door. Yep, closed it.

Keys still in car.

Fortunately, my kids weren’t.

From the day care I called the local police department, who graciously sent an officer out to get me back into my car and on to work.

A humbling start to any day, let me tell you.

So, why don’t you tell me? Don’t leave me hanging.

Have you ever locked your keys in your car? How did you handle it? Spill!

By now, you've heard the story about the Canadian parents who are refusing to reveal the gender of their baby, Storm.

They are claiming Storm should be allowed to choose what gender he/she is and to be "gender creative."

But in keeping their child's gender a secret, they are doing the exact opposite of their original intent. They are actually placing too much emphasis on it.

And, yes, while a lot rides on gender, it does not determine a person's life, and I think to surmise such is to fall back into the old stereotypical gender roles Storm's parents are trying to prevent.

These days, I believe girls are not brought up to be "in the kitchen" just as boys aren't solely encouraged to explore and, one day, become "breadwinners."

As the mother of a boy and a girl, both close in age (less than 22 months apart), my husband and I have always parented based on each child's personality and needs.

The old adage, "Boys will be boys," doesn't always hold true. Nor should it.

In fact, if you want to play by antiquated gender role stereotypes, my 20-month-old Adalyn Rae should be our "boy." She has no fear, picks up ants and worms, eats anything and everything and is not afraid to get dirty.

Like many parents these days, we opted to find out the sex of both of our children when I was pregnant with them. And we had no qualms about revealing either. We bought dresses for Adalyn and painted her room pink. Does that make her more "girl?"

Zander's room is green. He wear jeans he's not afraid to get dirty. But he is also anxious. He is fearful at times, he doesn't like to try new things, he doesn't like to get his hands dirty, he's a picky eater, and he often screams when he sees a bug.

Does this make him less of a "boy?"

It is society's assignment of things and actions/reactions as either "boy" or "girl," that Storm's parents should be protesting, not gender itself. Gender isn't a bad thing: It's biology.

The debate between what is a bigger influencer on our lives — nature v. nurture — is a longstanding one. You can't deny either. Nor should you.

As parents, it's vitally important to expose our children to all types of toys, all sorts of situations, and respond to our children based on their personalities and their individual needs — whether they are girls or boys.

Maybe I give people more credit than Storm's parents do.

Truth is, gender is more than the color of your room or whether you wear a dress or pants. Gender is an undeniable part of who we are, but it does not make us who we become.

-

What do you think? Will "girls be girls" and "boys be boys" regardless of how we react to their gender? Or, is there something more at play?

By now, you’ve heard the story about the Canadian parents who are refusing to reveal the gender of their baby, Storm.

They are claiming Storm should be allowed to choose what gender he/she is and to be “gender creative.”

But in keeping their child’s gender a secret, they are doing the exact opposite of their original intent. They are actually placing too much emphasis on it.

And, yes, while a lot rides on gender, it does not determine a person’s life, and I think to surmise such is to fall back into the old stereotypical gender roles Storm’s parents are trying to prevent.

These days, I believe girls are not brought up to be “in the kitchen” just as boys aren’t solely encouraged to explore and, one day, become “breadwinners.”

As the mother of a boy and a girl, both close in age (less than 22 months apart), my husband and I have always parented based on each child’s personality and needs.

The old adage, “Boys will be boys,” doesn’t always hold true. Nor should it.

In fact, if you want to play by antiquated gender role stereotypes, my 20-month-old Adalyn Rae should be our “boy.” She has no fear, picks up ants and worms, eats anything and everything and is not afraid to get dirty.

Like many parents these days, we opted to find out the sex of both of our children when I was pregnant with them. And we had no qualms about revealing either. We bought dresses for Adalyn and painted her room pink. Does that make her more “girl?”

Zander’s room is green. He wear jeans he’s not afraid to get dirty. But he is also anxious. He is fearful at times, he doesn’t like to try new things, he doesn’t like to get his hands dirty, he’s a picky eater, and he often screams when he sees a bug.

Does this make him less of a “boy?”

It is society’s assignment of things and actions/reactions as either “boy” or “girl,” that Storm’s parents should be protesting, not gender itself. Gender isn’t a bad thing: It’s biology.

The debate between what is a bigger influencer on our lives — nature v. nurture — is a longstanding one. You can’t deny either. Nor should you.

As parents, it’s vitally important to expose our children to all types of toys, all sorts of situations, and respond to our children based on their personalities and their individual needs — whether they are girls or boys.

Maybe I give people more credit than Storm’s parents do.

Truth is, gender is more than the color of your room or whether you wear a dress or pants. Gender is an undeniable part of who we are, but it does not make us who we become.

—

What do you think? Will “girls be girls” and “boys be boys” regardless of how we react to their gender? Or, is there something more at play?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad we got him.

I’m glad we don’t have to worry about his next evil plan.

But we have to worry about his followers.

And I worry that we’ve woken a sleeping giant. Have we?

Pakistan’s former military ruler Pervez Musharraf told Reuters today that al Qaeda supporters may take revenge against the United States and Pakistan.

And with celebrations taking place across the country and newspaper headlines screaming — “WE GOT THE BASTARD!” “BURN IN HELL!” and “GOT HIM (SHOT HIM)” — I can’t help but question whether this is all right.

Is it right for our children? What are they learning from our reaction?

And for those parents with kids old enough to understand, how are you telling them?

I’m glad my children, ages 3 and 18 months, are too young to understand because I’m not sure what I’d say. I don’t know that I’d encourage them to chant “U-S-A” and blast songs, such as “I’m proud to be an American.”

While I am proud to be an American, the slaying of Osama bin Laden doesn’t bring back the thousands of people who lost their lives on Sept. 11, 2001.

It won’t change the way we live our lives today. We’ll still go through stringent security measures before boarding airplanes and entering courthouses. We’ll fill out additional paperwork to help ensure our kids are safe in school. We’ll go through metal detectors and be asked to show the “appropriate identification, ma’am” again and again.

We won a battle, but the War on Terror will still continue. And it’s something our children will fight, too, one day.

I’m worried for them. And we should be concerned about the message we are sending.

An eye for an eye doesn’t equal 20/20 vision. It’s a swap, a trade, and it makes everything in front of you a bit blurry.

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad we got him.

I'm glad we don't have to worry about his next evil plan.

But we have to worry about his followers.

And I worry that we've woken a sleeping giant. Have we?

Pakistan's former military ruler Pervez Musharraf told Reuters today that al Qaeda supporters may take revenge against the United States and Pakistan.

And with celebrations taking place across the country and newspaper headlines screaming — "WE GOT THE BASTARD!" "BURN IN HELL!" and "GOT HIM (SHOT HIM)" — I can't help but question whether this is all right.

Is it right for our children? What are they learning from our reaction?

And for those parents with kids old enough to understand, how are you telling them?

I'm glad my children, ages 3 and 18 months, are too young to understand because I'm not sure what I'd say. I don't know that I'd encourage them to chant "U-S-A" and blast songs, such as "I'm proud to be an American."

While I am proud to be an American, the slaying of Osama bin Laden doesn't bring back the thousands of people who lost their lives on Sept. 11, 2001.

It won't change the way we live our lives today. We'll still go through stringent security measures before boarding airplanes and entering courthouses. We'll fill out additional paperwork to help ensure our kids are safe in school. We'll go through metal detectors and be asked to show the "appropriate identification, ma'am" again and again.

We won a battle, but the War on Terror will still continue. And it's something our children will fight, too, one day.

I'm worried for them. And we should be concerned about the message we are sending.

An eye for an eye doesn't equal 20/20 vision. It's a swap, a trade, and it makes everything in front of you a bit blurry.

Could anyone be more selfish than Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband?

The 67-year-old Prince Frederic von Anhalt told CNN today that he wants his wife, 94-year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor, to become a new mom.

"In life you need something to live for," he told CNN. (Read the full story here.) "If my wife passes away before me, I have nothing to live for."

The elderly couple will use an egg donor, artificial insemination and a surrogate mother to have a baby at, yes, age 94 and 67.

What's Zsa Zsa's take on all of this?

CNN didn't talk to the woman once known for her strong personality and stronger opinions.

Gabor's only child, Francesca Hilton (who is 64, mind you), told CNN:

"That's just weird."

I couldn't agree more.

Gabor has some major health issues, and she has been unable to walk since 2002.

Von Anhalt claims another reason the couple is planning on a new baby is to have someone carry on the famous Gabor name.

Are you kidding me?

A child is not about a namesake or a means to keep you from getting lonely in old age. If von Anhalt and Gabor really want to leave a legacy, donate their millions to orphans or to help feed the one out of every four children who officially live in poverty in this country.

Leave a legacy based on how you can help children and make their lives better, not on how they can benefit you.

That's not very princely.

Shame on you, Frederic von Anhalt.

Could anyone be more selfish than Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband?

The 67-year-old Prince Frederic von Anhalt told CNN today that he wants his wife, 94-year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor, to become a new mom.

“In life you need something to live for,” he told CNN. (Read the full story here.) “If my wife passes away before me, I have nothing to live for.”

The elderly couple will use an egg donor, artificial insemination and a surrogate mother to have a baby at, yes, age 94 and 67.

What’s Zsa Zsa’s take on all of this?

CNN didn’t talk to the woman once known for her strong personality and stronger opinions.

Gabor’s only child, Francesca Hilton (who is 64, mind you), told CNN:

“That’s just weird.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Gabor has some major health issues, and she has been unable to walk since 2002.

Von Anhalt claims another reason the couple is planning on a new baby is to have someone carry on the famous Gabor name.

Are you kidding me?

A child is not about a namesake or a means to keep you from getting lonely in old age. If von Anhalt and Gabor really want to leave a legacy, donate their millions to orphans or to help feed the one out of every four children who officially live in poverty in this country.

Leave a legacy based on how you can help children and make their lives better, not on how they can benefit you.

That’s not very princely.

Shame on you, Frederic von Anhalt.

It's not just new moms who can struggle with depression, known as postpartum depression, following the birth of a baby, new dads can find themselves depressed as well.

A new study found that sad dads are more apt to spank their babies than happy ones.

The recently released study in the journal "Pediatrics" found that about 40 percent of depressed fathers spanked their 1-year-old babies, versus just 13 percent of fathers who weren't depressed.

The American Academy of Pediatrics warns against spanking children, stating that spanked children are more likely to be physically abusive and aggressive.

So, if you think you are a depressed dad, get some help. Studies like this one show you are not alone.

It’s not just new moms who can struggle with depression, known as postpartum depression, following the birth of a baby, new dads can find themselves depressed as well.

A new study found that sad dads are more apt to spank their babies than happy ones.

The recently released study in the journal “Pediatrics” found that about 40 percent of depressed fathers spanked their 1-year-old babies, versus just 13 percent of fathers who weren’t depressed.

The American Academy of Pediatrics warns against spanking children, stating that spanked children are more likely to be physically abusive and aggressive.

So, if you think you are a depressed dad, get some help. Studies like this one show you are not alone.

This has long been a topic I have blogged about: The lack of a nationwide policy offering paid maternity leave.

By not offering it, we leave mothers behind — and their babies.

New moms' careers are derailed. And babies suffer when mom goes back to work early: Mom quits breastfeeding and delays baby's vaccinations, just to name a few consequences. If mom doesn't go back to work, a number of families are forced to seek public assistance.

A new report released today by Human Rights Watch, "Failing its Families: Lack of Paid Leave and Work-Family Supports in the US," documents the health and financial impact on American workers who have little or no paid family leave after childbirth.
The report also documents workplace discrimination against new parents — especially mothers.

"We can't afford not to guarantee paid family leave under law - especially in these tough economic times," said Janet Walsh, deputy women's rights director at Human Rights Watch and author of the report."The US is actually missing out by failing to ensure that all workers have access to paid family leave. Countries that have these programs show productivity gains, reduced turnover costs, and health care savings."

As one article pointed out: Americans take pride in the United States, in ways the U.S. differs from other countries, yet its lack of a nationwide policy governing maternity leave is an embarrassment and one that could be addressed at low cost to employers. Yes, at low cost to employers.

Human Rights Watch reports that at least 178 countries (yes, you read that correctly, 178!!!) have national laws that guarantee paid leave for new mothers, and more than 50 also guarantee paid leave for new fathers! The United States, with our lack of a federal policy, is in company with these countries: Papua New Guinea and Swaziland. Fabulous.

More than 100 countries offer 14 or more weeks of paid leave for new mothers, including Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom. And the 34 members of the Organization for Economic Co-Operation and Development (OECD), (among the world's most developed countries, except apparently the United States), provide on average 18 weeks of paid maternity leave, with an average of 13 weeks at full pay. WOW!

While the United States does have the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) it pales in comparison. FMLA enables US workers with new children or family members with serious medical conditions to take UNPAID job-protected leave (up to 12 weeks), but it covers only about half  the workforce. And, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, only 11 percent of non-government workers (and 3 percent of the lowest-income workers) have paid family leave benefits.

"Leaving paid leave to the whim of employers means millions of workers are left out, especially low-income workers who may need it most," Walsh said. "Unpaid leave is not a realistic option for many workers who cannot afford it or who risk losing their jobs if they take it."

California and New Jersey, the Human Rights Watch reports states, are the only two states with public paid family leave insurance programs. Both are financed exclusively through small employee payroll tax contributions. And, according to a new study of the California program by researchers at the Center for Economic and Policy Research and the City University of New York, employers overwhelmingly reported that the program has had a positive effect, and small businesses were actually less likely than large ones to report any negative effect.

"Around the world, policymakers understand that helping workers meet their work and family obligations is good public policy," Walsh said. "It's good for business, for the economy, for public health, and for families.

"It's past time for the U.S. to get on board with this trend."

Sure, she broke the law.

Kelley Williams-Bolar falsified documents, and she served nine days in jail.

But the underlying issue isn’t resolved: In Ohio, the quality of your child’s education is based on your zip code.

For the past two years, Williams-Bolar used her father’s mailing address to enroll her girls in the suburban Copley-Fairlawn City School District, instead of Akron Public Schools. Copley-Fairlawn is considered a highly regarded school district, and it’s one that received the highest marks from the state last year, “excellent with distinction.” To be fair, the city district in Akron also received a good score. It was designated in “continuous improvement,” the state’s third-highest rating.

Still, the Akron mom drove her daughters, 7 and 12 years old, from their city home to a bus stop in the Copley-Fairlawn district. The trip from Akron to Copley takes just 16 minutes, but the short distance meant her girls had a place to go after school: Their grandfather’s home in Copley Township.

A single mom, Williams-Bolar said she wasn’t about to let her daughters become “latchkey kids,” and she is trying to make their lives better as she works and attends college part time.

The mother’s case has recently received national attention, and Williams-Bolar told the Plain Dealer:

“I’m just a mom.”

But she’s ‘just a mom’ who is trying to do what she feels is best for her children. And, unfortunately, the quality of a child’s education does depend on their zip code.

That’s not to pit urban schools against suburban ones, because many city schools are doing a fabulous job educating their students. Still, some fall through the cracks, and State Superintendent Deb Delisle is the first to admit it, and she’s made it her priority, stating:

“I truly believe all students have the potential to succeed and that all students, regardless of their zip code, income, race, gender or disability should receive the highest quality education we can provide.”

Growing up, my zip code was 45651.

Sure, I had some good teachers at Vinton County High School, but I am certain my education was not as good as the education children receive in the Copley-Fairlawn schools or the Akron City district, for that matter.

I took every college-prep class my school district, situated smack in Appalachian Ohio, offered. Still, I had to work five times as hard as my classmates from Columbus and Cleveland and the Akron and Canton areas at Ohio University. Why? They had the opportunity to take a much wider range of classes, such as sociology and psychology, in high school (while I’d never even heard of Sigmund Freud). They were required to read classics, such as “The Catcher in the Rye” and “To Kill a Mockingbird,” while we were just trying to get by on aging, outdated textbooks. I never had the opportunity to participate in a high school play (perhaps we had one or two, I’ve since been corrected). Heck, when I attended Vinton County High School, we didn’t even have a cafeteria.

It’s little wonder the majority of my graduating class of about 100 didn’t make it through their first year of college.

So, I don’t blame this Akron mom for wanting better for her girls — even if it meant breaking the law to do it.

Sure, she broke the law.

Kelley Williams-Bolar falsified documents, and she served nine days in jail.

But the underlying issue isn't resolved: In Ohio, the quality of your child's education is based on your zip code.

For the past two years, Williams-Bolar used her father's mailing address to enroll her girls in the suburban Copley-Fairlawn City School District, instead of Akron Public Schools. Copley-Fairlawn is considered a highly regarded school district, and it's one that received the highest marks from the state last year, "excellent with distinction." To be fair, the city district in Akron also received a good score. It was designated in "continuous improvement," the state's third-highest rating.

Still, the Akron mom drove her daughters, 7 and 12 years old, from their city home to a bus stop in the Copley-Fairlawn district. The trip from Akron to Copley takes just 16 minutes, but the short distance meant her girls had a place to go after school: Their grandfather's home in Copley Township.

A single mom, Williams-Bolar said she wasn't about to let her daughters become "latchkey kids," and she is trying to make their lives better as she works and attends college part time.

The mother's case has recently received national attention, and Williams-Bolar told the Plain Dealer:

"I'm just a mom."

But she's ‘just a mom' who is trying to do what she feels is best for her children. And, unfortunately, the quality of a child's education does depend on their zip code.

That's not to pit urban schools against suburban ones, because many city schools are doing a fabulous job educating their students. Still, some fall through the cracks, and State Superintendent Deb Delisle is the first to admit it, and she's made it her priority, stating:

"I truly believe all students have the potential to succeed and that all students, regardless of their zip code, income, race, gender or disability should receive the highest quality education we can provide."

Growing up, my zip code was 45651.

Sure, I had some good teachers at Vinton County High School, but I am certain my education was not as good as the education children receive in the Copley-Fairlawn schools or the Akron City district, for that matter.

I took every college-prep class my school district, situated smack in Appalachian Ohio, offered. Still, I had to work five times as hard as my classmates from Columbus and Cleveland and the Akron and Canton areas at Ohio University. Why? They had the opportunity to take a much wider range of classes, such as sociology and psychology, in high school (while I'd never even heard of Sigmund Freud). They were required to read classics, such as "The Catcher in the Rye" and "To Kill a Mockingbird," while we were just trying to get by on aging, outdated textbooks. I never had the opportunity to participate in a high school play (we couldn't afford it, not even one). Heck, when I attended Vinton County High School, we didn't even have a cafeteria.

It's little wonder the majority of my graduating class of about 100 didn't make it through their first year of college.

So, I don't blame this Akron mom for wanting better for her girls — even if it meant breaking the law to do it.

I applaud her.

On one hand, because I’m not that gutsy.

On the other hand, because I believe in what she stands for:

Acceptance.

But I gotta question her rationale. Sure, the world should be OK with the fact that her 5-year-old son dressed as Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween. He wore purple tights, an orange wig, which, she said “he rocked.” (You can see a picture of her son here.) But I don’t think she should have been shocked the world did not react in the same way to her son’s enthusiasm.

She wrote: “My son is gay. Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you.”

In her most recent post, she blogs about how her Catholic church wants to kick her out. She says they were none too happy with her blog heard ’round the world that landed her a spot on the Today Show late last year.

When my husband told me about the story last night, it struck a cord. What would I do if faced with a similar situation? (Not from church, per se, but my son wanting to dress, in what some would consider, an inappropriate way.)

It got me thinking: Every parent of a boy must be faced with this at some point. And that’s what is unfair about it. Girls can wear blue, play with trucks and dress like Spiderman, but if a boy wants to wear pink, carry a doll baby and dress like Dora the Explorer, you are going to hear about it.

Sure, it’s unfair. But that’s the way the world works. So did it feel slightly wrong and totally uncool to tell 3-year-old Zander he can’t wear the pink floral shirt that’s three sizes too big for his little sister? Yes, it did.

“I love pink,” he told me.

“I know, buddy,” I told him.

But, as mothers — as parents — we have to direct our children. And protect them. There are certain “norms” society follows, and our children have to learn them. Or, face ridicule. Is it fair? Again, no. But it’s reality.

There are other “norms” we teach our children, such as not biting, sitting down when you eat and saying, “Please.”

So, are some things “for girls” and some things “for boys”? Certainly, and unfortunately.

I think our job as parents is, ultimately, to teach our children, and at least let them know, going in, they may face some unkind words — or worse. When they are old enough to understand the choice they are making — and its implications — let them make it. That’s the only way we change the world.

But the balance, the trick, in the meantime, is to not squelch their curiosity or creativity. If Zander wants to look at my make-up, I let him. I do not think it will make him want to wear make-up or become an expert make-up artist when he grows up. But if it does? So what.

I will still love him. And he is still my son.

And that’s what the mother of the 5-year-old who dressed as Daphne points out, too.

Still, there is a point in which you have to draw the line, even if it is with liquid eyeliner.

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Too much?

Here’s the little boy dressed as Daphne:

I applaud her.

On one hand, because I'm not that gutsy.

On the other hand, because I believe in what she stands for:

Acceptance.

But I gotta question her rationale. Sure, the world should be OK with the fact that her 5-year-old son dressed as Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween. He wore purple tights, an orange wig, which, she said "he rocked." (You can see a picture of her son here.) But I don't think she should have been shocked the world did not react in the same way to her son's enthusiasm.

She wrote: "My son is gay. Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you."

In her most recent post, she blogs about how her Catholic church wants to kick her out. She says they were none too happy with her blog heard 'round the world that landed her a spot on the Today Show late last year.

When my husband told me about the story last night, it struck a cord. What would I do if faced with a similar situation? (Not from church, per se, but my son wanting to dress, in what some would consider, an inappropriate way.)

It got me thinking: Every parent of a boy must be faced with this at some point. And that's what is unfair about it. Girls can wear blue, play with trucks and dress like Spiderman, but if a boy wants to wear pink, carry a doll baby and dress like Dora the Explorer, you are going to hear about it.

Sure, it's unfair. But that's the way the world works. So did it feel slightly wrong and totally uncool to tell 3-year-old Zander he can't wear the pink floral shirt that's three sizes too big for his little sister? Yes, it did.

"I love pink," he told me.

"I know, buddy," I told him.

But, as mothers — as parents — we have to direct our children. There are certain "norms" society follows, and our children have to learn them. Or, face ridicule. Is it fair? Again, no. But, it's reality.

There are other "norms" we teach our children, such as not biting, sitting down when you eat and saying, "Please."

So, are some things "for girls" and some things "for boys"? Certainly, and unfortunately.

But the balance, the trick, is to not squelch their curiosity or creativity. If Zander wants to look at my make-up, I let him. I do not think it will make him want to wear make-up or become an expert make-up artist when he grows up. But if it does? So what.

I will still love him. And he is still my son.

And that's what the mother of the 5-year-old who dressed as Daphne points out, too.

Still, there is a point in which you have to draw the line, even if it is with liquid eyeliner.

Elsie and Olive Ryan were working women before women worked.

It was during The Great Depression when the Alliance women headed outside of the home to make a living. Elsie, a widowed mother of two young girls, and Olive, who had never married (lost her true love in the influenza pandemic of 1918), juggled the cooking, the cleaning and watching over Elsie’s daughters (Olive’s nieces): Mary Louise and Catherine.

The story of the women has stuck with me over the past few weeks since The Repository published “Always Sisters” late last month.

In interviewing the families for the story, I was overcome by — and obviously focused on — the lives and deaths of Mary Louise and Catherine. The two sisters were born 20 months apart and died 20 hours apart. But the “story behind the story” was that of Elsie and Olive.

They raised Mary Louise and Catherine to be independent women, as they followed the example set by their mother and aunt. Elsie refused to accept a widower’s pension from the government at the time of her husband’s death because it meant she’d have to report back, as the Ryan family told me, “Every time she bought the girls a lollipop.”

Instead, Elsie took matters into her own hands, working nights at the old Pennsylvania Railroad station in Louisville, where she dispatched for trains coming through. She walked to work and back. Sometimes in the snow. Elsie also traveled to Cleveland by train to study to become a beautician, later opening a beauty parlor in her home.

Did she suspect the impact all of this would have on her daughters?

Maybe she had some indication.

After graduating from nursing school, her youngest daughter, Catherine, became a First Lieutenant for the 28th Field Hospital in the European Theater. Catherine served in Normandy after 160,000 Allied troops landed along the 50-mile stretch of French coastline in the D-Day invasion to fight Nazi Germany.

Elsie’s oldest daughter, Mary Louise, grew up to serve for more than 35 years as the executive secretary to three plant managers at Babcock & Wilcox Tubular Products in Alliance. She also helped found the Catholic Women’s Club and became the first female secretary of the Alliance Country Club’s board of directors.

Trailblazers, certainly.

And inspirational — to working women everywhere.

—–

Photos of Elsie Ryan (holding Catherine) Mary Louise (standing) and her husband, Bill. Photos of Mary Louise and Catherine as young girls, and, later, at Mary Louise’s wedding in Florida in 1991.

The next time your child is sick for what seems like the gazillionth time, know this:
It might seem like all snotty noses, but — guess what? — the more Kleenex you go through now, the less you will later — when your child's education is on the line.

A researcher at the University of Montreal found that young children who attend day care have more colds and ear infections than children who stay at home, but they get sick less when they are in school.

Researcher Sylvana Cote told MyHealthNewsDaily: "There is an advantage of not missing school days, when they're missing major education that's really the basis of their academic trajectory."

So, working moms, don't fret. I especially like this closing quote from Cote:

"I hope people will not worry so much about sending their children to day care in relation to infections. Really, what we are seeing is a natural part of life when we get to large groups," she said. "In the long run, it shows day care does not have an impact in the long-term burden of disease. I think it is (an advantage) in terms of the academic aspect."